I thought Kim Kardashian had an official pass from the black community?
I don’t seem to recall there being any uproar back when she was the first non-black woman on the cover of King magazine, back before it went out of business and relaunched sans (new) journalism. Which of course begs the question of why it has an Editor in Chief, and how come I wasn’t considered. Can I be Deputy Editor (whatever that means)? My ability to sort through pictures of women is world renown.
The other time I recall there being a non-black (or hispanic, I guess) woman on the cover of King was when Tila Tequila was on the cover, and I’m not gonna lie – I was a little bit pissed. But not because I felt like she was taking an opportunity away from a black video ho. Because I was featured in that issue, so they sent me that one for free. It was only issue of King I ever had, and I could hardly stand looking at it. I used to have to leave it sitting on its cover.
You guys know I don’t generally dine on Chinese, but even if I did, Tila Tequila’s pancake face seems a little bit extreme to me, to the point where I’m not sure if I could rise to the occasion. Not that you needed to know that. But while we’re on the topic of things you don’t necessarily need to know: If I had to bang an Asian broad, I’d probably go for a woman named Elly Tran Ha. Consult Google Images to see why. (Note that in this case, Tran is an Asian person’s name, not an indicator that she migh be able to fuck me, if she somehow disabled me.) Either her, or this woman with ridonkulously large cans (I know…) named Fuko (pronounced Foucault).
The reason I bring this up is because I was over at Sandra Rose just now, and I saw where black women are pissed that Essence magazine put Reggie Bush on the cover of their next issue. But not because he looks mad suspect, with his sweater all open like that – which was my issue. You know black women like black men a little bit suspect. That’s why the AIDS rate’s all out of control. No, they’re pissed because he’s dating Kim Kardashian, who isn’t black. Never mind the fact that Kim Kardashian has a huge ass, and has done a lot to make that look more socially acceptable, which should work out in most black women’s favor, and the fact that she did a sex tape with Ray J, which, regardless of what you think about it, was probably a boom for race relations in this country, and may have even played a role (on a subconscious level) in electing our first black president, and the fact that, if white people caused a stank because a woman who dates black men graced the cover of Time magazine, that shit would be the new Don Imus.
The list of reasons why this is some ol’ bullshit goes on and on.
But the thing is, black women are on edge right now, because of a recent special on ABC about how some ridonkulous percentage of them have never been married. I even mentioned this yesterday, in my post about the photo op with homeless people Kanye West did to try to get his career in order. There’s been a definite shift in black male-female relations in the past few weeks. The response to my post about the ABC special, and to an especially amusing post I did about a profile in the Washington Post of the author of a forthcoming book on black women’s relationship woes, has been way more vitriolic than the response to similar posts I’ve done over the years.
The difference, I suspect, is that the illusion that this is all black men’s fault is starting to fade. To be sure, the ABC special did lay most of the blame upon black men. They even went so far as to have a computer expert put together a graph showing just how few “eligible” black men are left, once you take away the ones who are in jail, didn’t graduate from high school, and don’t have a job. They didn’t even bother to mention the ones who are suspect, but like I said – that’s not necessarily a deal breaker. You’d think black women’s response to a special like this would be to put it forth as further proof that they’re god’s gift, just like Michael Eric “Cornholio” Dyson said they are, and if only there were more black men who were worthy of being with them, but they probably couldn’t get past that initial statistic. Men lie, women lie even more than men, but numbers don’t. The truth of the matter is that black women’s vaginae could emit solid gold coins, and it wouldn’t change the fact that most of them are lonelier than I am.
Someone should explain to them that throwing shade on Reggie Bush’s Essence cover isn’t gonna help matters. It’s just gonna make them look that much more desperate. And I happen to know, from having studied “relationship strategy,” that people aren’t attracted to people who look desperate. The best way to make a woman want you is to pretend to not be interested. Maybe that’s why DL brothers get so much play.
Glamour’s Annual man issue didn’t disappoint, and I thought I’d share one of the most interesting articles, not the whole part but the type of men. Call me boy crazy, or man crazy rather, but I love the opposite sex, despite my irritation with them as well. Here my friends, are some types of guys in the article, Your Field Guide to Guys,” by Josh Aiello. Um also, so this isn’t super long, I’m going to summarize each type of guy from what they said.
“The Sexy Foreigner,” – he’s totally hot, from his great hair to his you – can’t- tell – if – they’ve – ever- been – washed – jeans. He attracts females via his impossibly sexy accent and the ability to transform out of date machismo into charming banter. Women, beware, you could grow tired of the SF’s Vespa and chest hair. But he makes you feel like a lady, drives exes mad with jealousy and delivers capital R – romance. If he’s not a cad, just say oui.
“The Hobbyist,” – more identifiable by his hobby than his physical appearance, this guy inspires your girlfriend to refer to him as wine dude or something. He’s incredibly loyal, friendly and talkative, though most of his anecdotes will appeal only to fellow hobbyists. To you, it may sound like he’s speaking another language. Women, beware, you have two choices here: familiarize yourself with his passion and join, or give the guy loads of space and time and cultivate your own obsessive pastime.
“The Workaholic,” – his wardrobe cost more then yours. He’s asserts his manhood through his desire to make money. Works hella hours per week and probably uses his blackberry when he takes a shit. To get your attention he buys you jewelry, no sane woman would refuse. Beware, it can be hard to tell where there’s a real guy behind the money clip, so here’s a litmus test, if he sleeps on an aero bed without complaint at your parent’s home, he’s legit. If on the other hand, he wakes up cranky, and checks into a hotel, he’s not the ONE!
“The Man You thought was gay,” – this thoughtful and caring guy is always there to listen and is game for a quick detour to Bloomingdale’s. You assume he’s into men – all the good ones are. He’s the most nonthreatening male you’ve ever encountered, but just as your starting to open up to him something off. Wait is his hand on your thigh? Remember, TMYTWG has no idea you think he’s gay. So keep an open mind – he could be the greatest boyfriend of all time. Still worried? Here’s a tip: ask about his dating history. Ambiguous pronoun- free statements, like “there was this one person I dated,” are not good.
“The Undercover Hottie,” – He’s like Mr. Invisible: you wouldn’t glance twice at him in the supermarket, couldn’t pick him out of the police lineup, and might not even notice him if he worked in the next cubicle. Yet, despite appearances, the Undercover Hottie routinely attracts women way out of his league, leading to the intriguing conclusion there there must be something great about this guy. This guys highly prized species, so if you spot him, pounce! Many women report meeting the UH on a blind date. He may not be tall, he may not have all his hair, but this cool, funny guy will check off every other box on your list, in bed and out.
“Mr. Selective Memory,” – So nice, so charming, so perfect, but he forgot to mention is girlfriend, or that you, know he’s about to leave for vacation, or transfer for work. Mr. Selective Memory can be found anywhere at the office, at school, sipping green tea at the coffee shop, which is what makes him such a dangerous species of dude. Beware, he might seem OK at first, but dating Mr. Selective Memory, will openly lead to heartache. At the first sign he’s not being totally honest with you.
“Mr. Passionista,” – whatever he’s doing, the passionist dresses the part. His gear is always first rate and he always looks great, whether he’s hunting big game or attending the Opera. His joie de vivre is enthralling and exhausting. He’s into extreme sports, fine food, great wine, high culture. He’s never tired, can hold his liquor and is up for anything, anytime. These types exploits aren’t designed to attract women, but who can resist a guy whose desktop image shows him base jumping inside the Grand Canyon. Beware, his zest for like may overwhelm you, but the Passionist is downright magnetic and the sex? Ridiculous.
“Mr Jealous,” – at first, mr jealous comes off as normal, attractive and well groomed. You can’t believe this guy isn’t taken or married, but eventually certain traits allow you to learn why he’s single. The things that seemed cute before now seem weird and possessive. My jealous date’s women like the CIA monitors terrorist activity. He casts a net of surveillance, grows suspicious of any male you encounter and is known to hack into your e-mail. Your relationship will devolve into a constant effort to prove you aren’t doing anything wrong, until you finally date him.
Now to my favorite, who should be every girls favorite, and who every guy should aspire to be, “Mr Right.” He’s had no set look, dress, body type or style. Mr. right can take on the form of any man, so attempt to stay at least a little open-minded. Startling truth: For all of Mr. Right’s life he may have been in one of the previous categories, To everyone else in the world, he may still be. He has no act, no game. He calls when he says he will, focuses on your needs in bed and is basically the coolest nicest person you’ve ever met. The most elusive of men, Mr. Right, is difficult to locate but well worth the effort. Many women settle before finding him, so got out with your friends be yourself, and he may appear.
Aww, I thought that was interesting, hopefully it wasn’t too boring and you are reading this here. I want Mr. Right bad, but I wonder if he comes, because like the author said, we do settle before we meet him, because maybe you get bored/tired of searching. I think what would make the perfect guy, may be a mix of all these, or a mix of none, sometimes the thing that makes someone perfect is their completely randomness. How they don’t fit into anything you thought you liked, but they fit into your world perfectly.
So um, Nicki Minaj, has inspired a generation of girls into thinking that they too are Barbie like. These same girls, have lost their conciousness and their identity, believing that they too, are on their way to Minajdom (word I just made up). They put Minaj on to their last name, wear Barbie chains, put pink in their hair, interesting. On a website that my love Tiffany sent me they have the Minaj look alikes, and yes.. these girls I’m sorry to say fail at life. Here are some of the funniest:
Point to this post, girls need to claim and find their own identity. I’m not sure if its something that their parents didn’t teach them, or their attempts to be on the “hype beast” train, but this is a little disturbing. I’ve always looked to Gabrielle Union as my idol, but you don’t see me attempting to emulate her poses, her weaves, or even try to implant dimples in my face.
parents do better. in the words of Miley Cyrus, yes Miley Cyrus, ” My job is to be a Role Model, but my job isn’t to be a Parent,” this correlates to this to me.
So in High School, maybe I was a big separatist or something, but I remember this time during my senior year, all the seniors had to do a big essay on a book. Since I was in some cultural English class, it had to deal with people of different cultures. I researched the books that they gave us, and realized that there was not one black person in these books. So I marched up to my teacher and said if I research a book can I use it, and he said yes. I did that, and I ended up getting the book added to all the classes. *pats self on back.
This book was Desert Flower by Model Waris Dirie. Honestly, we all say there is some pivotal moment in our life, that some art form inspired us beyond belief, for me that was this book. I think after reading this book, it helped me become more concerned with the negative ways that women are treated in other countries. Yes, in America we complain about women being seen in over sexualized and misogynistic views, how sex is visibly shown in everything, and how women are continually being shown as subordinate to men, but nothing compares to how women like Waris Dirie were treated in her native Somalia, or how a lot of women in middle eastern countries are forced to die through honor killings.
With that being said, Desert Flower is a memoir on the life of Waris Dirie, who at one point was like the Chanel Iman of modeling, visibly everywhere. Coming from Somalia, Dirie was confronted with Female Genital Mutilation, witnessed her sisters going through it, as well as experiencing it herself, and she eventually fled the country to go to Europe.
Today Dirie works as an advocate against Female Genital Mutilation and speaks out against it believing that, “Violence against women knows no border,”
The main point of this is to say that they are in production creating a movie about this novel, and model Liya Kebede will be playing Dirie.
I suggest, if you haven’t read this book, you get on it; this book is probably one of the grittiest, real, thought provoking, and sad books that I’ve ever read. But one of the books responsible for changing my mind state.